Space – the Stuff that Writing is Made Of

Posted on 02/12/2012 by bjbelling

“Look at the space where you write,” says our writing coach. “Is it inviting? Does it promote creativity? How would you design a space for an honored guest?”

My classmates nod and jot down these questions dutifully while I wipe up the tea I just splurted all over my journal. At the moment, I’m pretty sure I don’t have “a writing space”. I have keyboards. I have screens. I have journals and pens. But a “space”?

I think about this.

I do have writing “time”. I have scheduled time in my calendar plus stolen time where I write in between work, vacuuming, child rearing, waving to my husband, and burning something for dinner. But this “space thing”…I just don’t know. That’s a whole different cartridge of ink.

I decide to investigate – here is my report:

WHERE I WRITE
by BJ Belling

1. My Head. It’s not a bad head, as heads go. Inviting? Well, the ruffly outside is kind of fun. Promote creativity? Hmmmm….the imagination department seems to be coming online – much more activity than, say, 3 years ago. I notice, however, that the Fight-or-Flight area is on alert a bit often – something about lots of change and feeding on mac-‘n’-cheese. Made a mental note to sooth this area more often, but can’t seem to fit it in…oh! Wow…the Mental Note department is way overcrowded. Too many gangs of Cruddy Thoughts lurking about. Time for a purge and bit of redecorating. An Honored Guest might like a bit of violet chiffon with a touch of gold inlay – will get on that straight away.

2. On the Go. Includes driving, exercising, showering, and maybe grocery shopping if I have a list that I stick to and don’t have a child with me saying “can we try this? can we buy this?”. I find it curious that I do NOT write when I’m shopping for a new purse… but I’ll leave that addiction alone for now. If I have an idea worth writing down (and they are ALL brilliant ideas, aren’t they?), I locate any scrap of paper and writing instrument – which could mean I scratch with my nail at the back of a receipt. A little precarious when driving a car or grocery cart, perhaps. I tried fumbling with a digital recorder a couple of times but the sounds of “gak!” and “oh no!” and falling displays of all-natural dog food put a damper on my A-hah!-moments. Probably not Honored Guest friendly.

3. My Office. Where there are at least two sides to every story:

a. On the plus side there are two windows. One overlooks our front yard and street; the other, my neighbor’s house. Out of these windows I see my neighbor’s neat-as-can-be yard, a flowering bush, a bit of sky, and people ducking to avoid a concussion from the oak tree that leans over the sidewalk.

b. On the minus side, my office is the place where Papers come to retire, living out their golden years free from confined spaces. The Papers have been so comfortable here that word got around and now many Household Items have joined in, such as, The Old Computer, The Empty Vitamin Bottle, and The Paper Bowl which I’ve stepped over at least a dozen times because I just can’t bring myself to disturb its daily meditation.

I know the Honored Guest Remedy for this, but thinking about it requires more oxygen than is available in here. I move on.

4. Peet’s Coffee & Tea. A cosmopolitan atmosphere, Peet’s offers just enough din to both fuel inspiration and drown out people’s gall-bladder stories. Other than once in awhile needing to locate an open table by using my super-powers (i.e. I stare at the back of someone’s head until they think they’re being haunted and leave), it is the perfect place for me. I just make sure I purchase enough stuff to pay for my seat but not so much that I look like I’m paying for my seat, ifyouknowwhatImean. Oh, and the coffee here will knock your toe rings right off. Definitely an Honored Guest spot.

So, in retrospect, this is not TOO bad. I honestly didn’t think I had any writing space at all! Although I’m fairly certain an Honored Guest would pass on the window seat in my office (see “b” above) or a ride in a grocery cart, a trip to Peet’s could definitely work. And if not, there’s always a lovely spot in the center of my mind.

Fluky Fridays – Cough, Cough, Sniffle, Sniffle

Posted on 01/27/2012 by bjbelling

I have a Flu/Cold Thing.
Don’t worry, though, I’m almost better.

In other words, I am able to wash dishes if I slump over the sink and lean on my elbows so my head doesn’t hit the faucet. That’s okay though. It just means my face gets pretty close to the warm water – rather like getting a steam-facial. A nice side benefit, don’t you think?

Unless we’ve had fish for dinner.

My husband got the Flu/Cold Thing after me. Otherwise, I’d let him get the fish-steam-facial. Why should I be the only one to clear my pores?

It started about a week ago, this Flu/Cold Thing. First came the tease of a soar throat followed by a minor bit of malaise and subsequent energy loss. To that I added a bucket of Denial and a couple of pints of Rejection.

It makes life easier if I ignore the inevitable…except that I don’t actually ignore it because I’m in constant conversation with myself. To wit:

Me: “Oy, I don’t feel so good.”

Denial: “You’re having a bad hair day – that always makes you tired. Put on a hat, you’ll be fine.”

Me: “My energy is zapped.”

Rejection: “A few greens, less sugar, a bit of protein and you’ll be fine.”

Me: “My froat hurts and, uh oh, so does my tummy.”

Denial: “A little meditation plus more water and you’ll be fine.”

Me: “My head is starting to hurt, too.” (whine added for emphasis)

Rejection: “I agree with Denial – definitely more water and a new hair product couldn’t hurt. You’ll be fine.”

Wow. Can you say “Resistance?”

Honestly, I don’t know why I go through this whole rigamarole but I do it every single time I get sick. And you know the kicker? I can always tell when the ball has dropped because the thought of coffee turns my stomach. Period. I am someone who will drink coffee ‘til the cows come home. But when I don’t want it, either Bessie’s in the backyard or I’m sick.

I’m city-folk, btw.

Of course, right about the time I realize I’ve lost the game, I get wise and usually locate a 12-year-old, opened bottle of chewable Vitamin C tablets.

Perfect. Everyone knows how good vitamins are for you.

So that’s how it went this time…sort of…because this time the Flu/Cold Thing knocked me out by the second day, bumping Denial, Rejection, and the Vitamin C chewables off the planet. All I could do was sleep, eat left-over candy canes, and read fiction… which is not something I do often because I’m addicted to self-help books (big surprise).

If you’ve never read The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart, you must. It is one of those Hero Journeys that’s not only fun but completely relatable. Yes, it’s for ages 11 – 11½, but you will find yourself in that Hero’s Journey no matter what age you are. Promise. I read it in two days – through fever, malaise, and avoidance of household chores due to a real excuse. Heaven.

The cool thing is that once I stopped resisting, I started resting. Before that, my mind was all a-worry about the lack of everything (which is always so helpful at these times). I’m an Olympic Medalist when it comes to worrying so I had to make a conscious decision to change (i.e., I forced myself out of my frowny head and asked my son for a book). When I finished it, my fever broke and so did the malaise. Healing began. And I returned to the world with a whole new perspective.

(Anyone hear a trumpet fanfare?)

Moral: Do not get a flu/cold thing. Use good hair products.

~♦~

Fluky Fridays… because unexpected creativity lurks around every corner.

Fluky Fridays – Holiday Blur

Posted on 01/13/2012 by bjbelling

washing scrubbing wiping scrape
sweeping shaking flicking rake

listing shopping finding buy
sorting wrapping bowing tie

cooking baking stirring boil
chopping mixing storing foil

greeting hugging kissing care
smiling chatting laughing share

serving pouring setting fill
clearing dumping saving beer

children running doggy barks
glasses falling clanking smarts

weather bringing marching ants
vacuum spraying empty trash

whirling twirling losing mind
where’d I leave my glass of wine

people hugging people leaving
people grateful for receiving

sitting resting family near
light remaining guides our year

~♦~

Fluky Fridays… because unexpected creativity lurks around every corner.

Fluky Fridays – Mystery Coffee

Posted on 01/06/2012 by bjbelling

I found this picture on my phone today. No idea where it came from or who took the picture. It furrows my brow, you know. I mean, why in the world would I have a lousy picture of a cup of coffee on my phone?

Mystery.

Of course, it has “Fluky Friday” written all over it.

Hey, do you do that? Take pictures and not remember you took them? I’m probably the only one.

Well, the game is afoot because now I have to figure it out. Here are the facts:

to-go cup
sitting on a table of some sort
shadows
daytime
outside
really, really boring photo
caramel-colored liquid floating at the top (most likely coffee, especially since it’s on MY phone)

Hey. Do you know how to spell “caramel”?? Well, I couldn’t remember. I kept spelling it “car´-mel” like it sounds. But then all these little red dots appeared under the word broadcasting the little known fact that I‘VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPELL – which kinda stinks – especially after coming in 5th at my 3rd Grade Spring Spelling Bee. But before my perfectionist self had a meltdown (she doesn’t like little red dots under words), I decided to make a fresh cup of coffee to relax and just as I was spooning in a bit (okay, a lot) of sugar, my grandmother’s refined pronunciation came wafting into my head: “care – ah – mel,” she offered. I am reprieved!

We shall now waft back to our previously scheduled coffee mystery because:

a. it’s still buggin‘ me in a “I can‘t possibly be this dense“ sort-of-way;

b. the whole thing is distracting me from something I’m supposed to be doing but I can’t remember what it is so logic dictates that if I figure out the photo I’ll remember what I’m supposed to be doing…logically…;

c. a & b above;

d. once I get a question going in my head it’s hard to let it go, even if I don’t care that much about the answer.

Hey, do you ever find yourself answering a question you actually don’t have much interest in? I’m probably the only one, but I find it fascinating that our brains are Masters at solving questions. They just won’t let a question go no matter how much they’re paid in “I Love Lucy” reruns. Periodically, I need to question the questions I’m asking. For example, do I REALLY care about how to clean the grout on my kitchen counter? Well, after some deep soul searching I realized that, no, I don’t care. My real question: who do I HIRE to clean the grout?

ANYwhoo, back to THE PICTURE (because now YOU’RE interested, too, aren’t you).

So I stare and stare and stare at the photo and wouldn’t you know it but something starts to swing loose in my mind and I’ve just about got a thread going when….

My phone turns itself off.

Gak!!
That’s it, I have to get serious.
Drastic, even.
I take of my glasses and I … wait for it … squint.
Yes I do.
And not once, but twice!

Hey, although it’s not particularly attractive (and one always intends to be attractive while sleuthing, doesn’t one), squinting can be a highly effective maneuver. But due to its lasting wrinkle effects please only use it for emergencies such as this.

Luckily, my squinting maneuver is not in vain.
A clue appears: there are little lines on the table in the picture.
Whoa, is that table METAL?
Why, yes, it is!!
Wait a minute! It’s not a table at all, it’s a bench.
A metal bench!

I’VE GOT IT!

I was at one of my son’s early-morning soccer games – 7:45 AM-ish. I am SO not a morning person which means that this cup of coffee was saving my sanity, connecting me to the present, enabling me to watch my child happily romp around the field and even help me see him kick the ball…or at the ball. There was purpose in this coffee. Purpose and meaning. That’s what the photo was about. And at 7:45 am, that’s art.

So. Mystery solved! I feel better, don’t you? Of course, I still don’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing, but at least I’m not as dense as I thought.

Now for a new question…

~♦~

Fluky Fridays… because unexpected creativity lurks around every corner.

Fluky Fridays – Sometimes it takes awhile to get to the writing part…

Posted on 12/16/2011 by bjbelling

This is a true story.
No names have been changed.
Some chocolate has been eaten.
Okay, a lot of chocolate has been eaten.

Scenario:

Day
Wednesday, September-something

Previous Night’s Sleep
4, maybe 4 ½ hours

Today’s Intention
above all else, to write

Food
probably

8:30 am
I‘m in prep mode for my writing day. Translation: I’m walking aimlessly around the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. You’d think I’d know by now the danger of spending musing time in the kitchen because I start to see things that… well… need to be destroyed… e.g., the ugly, floral shelf paper needs a re-do; the speed hump under the vinyl flooring needs investigating; and I’m certain if I had more than two feet of counter space my cooking would resemble actual food.

8:33 am
I hone in on a strip of dangling shelf paper (read: low-hanging fruit) but luckily the kettle whines at mid-reach.

8:37 am
Safely at my Mac now with Earl Grey. Blank page is up, cursor flashes, hands hover, eyes nearly open, I await inspiration.

8:40 am
I await inspiration.

8:42 am
Awaiting…

8:43 am
Awaiting still…

8:45 am
Mesmerized by the cursor – it speaks to me: “what…will… you… write… what… will… you… wri…” I answer: “I… don’t… know… I… don’t… know… what… do… you… think… what… do… you… th…”

8:47 am
I realize I’m talking to a cursor. I decide not to look at the cursor.

8:48 am
Not… looking… at… cursor… not… looking… at…

8:50 am
I feel desperate – as if the bottom will fall out at ANY MOMENT and I will plunge into the depths of non-creativity without so much as a gray crayon to keep me company. Gaaaahhhhhh!!!!

8:52 am
I type today’s date to relieve anxiety. Light-bulb moment: I totally get the problem now! The font is all wrong for inspiration! Ha!

9:05 am
The new font looks better than I’d hoped. My hands re-poise themselves and I await inspiration.

9:10 am
My paper clips are now nicely organized. I raise the window blinds and notice stuff going on outside: cars passing by, a squirrel running up the tree, the neighbor’s dog doing his business in the center of our yard.

9:15 am
I close the blinds, pick up my laptop-that-is-not-a-Mac and leave the house. There is just not much inspiration here.

9:17 am
A dead bee is stuck to my car – must be last night’s rain. I’m a little sad for this bee, you know. What a way to go. Maybe it’s a sign. I pull out Ted Andrews’ “Animal Speak Pocket Guide“ and look up “Bee”: “This is a time of fertility. Extract honey while the sun shines. Be creative in as many ways as possible.” I ponder the demise of this bee and decide today is not an animal-message day.

9:30 am
Peet’s Coffee is stuffed with readers, artists, writers, conversationalists – perfect! I luck into a table by the window, grab a double-espresso, open the laptop-that-is-not-a-Mac, hover my hands over the keyboard, and here in this veritable den of inspiration I…

9:42 am
… ponder how many times my eyes blink in a minute. Then a friend of mine says hello. We chat… sort of… because the espresso hasn’t kicked in yet and I’m unable to carry on a conversation. I mumble something about ‘lack of sleep’ and ‘let‘s meet for green beans soon’. She is kind. She sees how intense I’m working and will email me. I have the presence of mind to nod affirmatively. I smile, also.

10:02 am
A little kid is arranging sample bottles of tea leaves on the nearby display. Not only does he arrange them in order of color, but he turns each one so the label faces outward. Then he runs around the entire place to gather more bottles. I marvel at his dedication, his dexterity, his obvious brilliance. Maybe I need a snack.

10:05 am
The chocolate biscotti in a crinkled plastic wrapper looks stunningly appealing. I grab it as if I were reaching for a life-preserver. Someone calls my name. The guy behind me introduces himself as the dad of one our soccer players. I manage a hello with a simultaneous smile.

[Background: soccer season just started. I, in a fit of… well… in a fit, volunteered to be Team Manager. How hard could it be?]

10:06 am
He offers to purchase my biscotti. “It’s the least I can do for all your hard work,” he says joyfully.

10:07 am
I thank him and walk back to my table. I also wonder about “all your hard work”.

10:09 am
Suddenly it dawns on me that I did not change clothes before I left the house. Gak! I have on my grungiest jeans, no make-up, my hair is matted and pulled back, and since I feel about as energetic as a sloth whose been awake for five days straight, I’m probably slumping over as well (honestly, at 5‘ tall, who can afford to slump?). I dive into my bag for a remedy but find only a tube of semi-dried lip balm. Funny I didn’t notice my appearance earlier when my friend popped in…

10:15 am
Maybe it’s the chocolate from the biscotti I just licked off, but I have another light-bulb moment: I’m a card-carrying perfectionist. Why do I forget this!?! Among other things, it means I un/consciously think I have to do something perfectly on the first try. It kills creativity because mistakes aren’t allowed. It keeps me looking for what’s wrong instead of what’s working. I do an out-loud relief laugh – the blurty, rather unattractive kind. People turn their heads. I pretend it was someone else and don’t look up. One guy, however, catches my eye. He knows.

10:16 am
I figure out what to do now. I start writing anything and everything. Stupid words. Goofy phrasing. I misspell and don’t correct. Oh what a wild and risky life I lead!

10:23 am
Finally, an idea for a piece begins to form. I feel The Flow!

[Side Note: Did I mention I am a Mac user? Did I mention I am using my laptop-that-is-not-a Mac? Did I mention I am not all that familiar with my laptop-that-is-not-a-Mac because I only use it for writing?]

10:26 am
In my newly found excitement, I do a short-cut move with the cursor that is (drum roll) FOR THE MAC! I realize this because the screen suddenly turns sideways.

10:27 am
What?

10:28 am
Luckily for the patrons, I’m too tired to panic (which, if you know me, is way out of character regarding technology… and lack of chocolate). I repeat what I think the keystroke was, figuring it will return to normal view. It does not. I try a few other magic key strokes. Nothing. I try turning my head sideways to see if I can continue working on my CREATIVE THOUGHT while it‘s hot in my mind. More looks from people nearby.

10:30 am
Hmmmm… who else here has a laptop-that-is-not-a-Mac? The guy in the corner, but he also has a “talk to me and die“ air about him. Good to know. A little voice tells me to turn off the computer. Oh yeah, it will probably correct itself upon startup. Just before it shuts down I catch the phrase “Saving Your Settings”. Good time to visit the bathroom.

10:34 am
I restart the computer. The screen is sideways. I look on the bright side – maybe this is good for my brain because “they” say it’s good to learn new things. I wonder how turning this computer sideways could be useful. I wonder if I can send this computer to “they”.

10:53 am
Panicking begins to feel useful so I finish the biscotti in prep for a meltdown when I have yet another light-bulb moment: I’ll act as if I know how to operate a laptop-that-is-not-a-Mac and noodle around with the keys. In less than one minute the screen is back to normal and viewing does not involve chiropractic treatment. Hooray!

11:00 am
A tiny little creative groove begins to form. I take a moment to let it fully sink in, i.e., I do a Writer’s Glance (eyes display ‘supreme focused intention‘ while brain regroups… or… stalls and wonders about uses for cotton balls).

11:04 am
Yet another good friend stops by – I love this place! We talk for a bit despite my lack of lipstick and then she is off to a meeting.

11:15 am
The espresso is finally in gear and my fingers scoot across the keys. I’m writing crap but there’s no stopping Writer’s Hands once they get going. Forty minutes fly by.

12:00 pm
And so it begins…

Moral
Sometimes, you know, it takes awhile to get to the writing part…

(FYI: this is the 16^th revision of this piece)

~♦~

Fluky Fridays… unexpected creativity lurks around every corner.

Creativity on the Loose!

Author Archives: bjbelling

Space – the Stuff that Writing is Made Of

Fluky Fridays – Cough, Cough, Sniffle, Sniffle

Fluky Fridays – Holiday Blur

Fluky Fridays – Mystery Coffee

Fluky Fridays – Sometimes it takes awhile to get to the writing part…

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